A small part of our Epic Adventure aka A love worth fighting for!!!

"A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries." - (anonymous)

A long time ago, in a land far away, ..two people met and fell madly in love & lived happily ever after..OR a boy met a girl and thought she was his sister's new 'bratty obnoxious' friend...and a girl met a boy dressed in black w/Robert Smith hair & eyeliner and thought he was 'such a dork' because she had already outgrown the new-wave/punk rocker phase'. He was 20 , she was 15 .... (and yes, he escaped arrest because my Dad and Mom really liked him...)

Upon my 2nd meeting where he was at home sitting at the dining room table studying..with his AMAZING long blonde surfer hair and sweet tan..and about 30-40 more pounds...was 'WOW, now who is this brother, he is surely the hottest thing I've ever seen'!! It was lust at first sight to be sure!

Fast forward a few months and I am smitten and not sure where I stand with Ray. ( He was not a typical guy who had had 7,8 or 32 girlfriends so 'girl friend' territory wasn't nearly as flippant for him as I would have liked )  However, I just knew we'd be married one day. I can remember Leigh telling me one day as we neared University/Merrill , where he lived..'He'll never fall for you' I don't think she was being mean just maybe trying to be realistic...I however said to myself  'We'll see', I was pretty sure I could eventually woo him with my Love Powers ! (Back then that meant dressing like a 'hoochie momma' as my girls say and throwing myself at him at every turn)...I think we all see who was right ;) Though I am not proud of my actions now..back then those were the only skills I thought I had for winning a guy's  heart....

Anyways...I had met Ray in February and by August..well, we were official. I spent my entire Senior year with him had a blast. We worked at Regency Mall. Went to the beach together. went to church together. Went to clubs together....We pretty much spent every day together and by the end of that year..well, the lust had changed to as much as we knew/understood about LOVE as possible at our age.... 

I proposed, yes, that is right. I again, had NO clue as to how a young lady should act/behave so I thought it was pretty neat that I just asked him to marry me. (WOW, how my thinking has changed!) He of course said Yes  (because again, who could resist my Love Powers?) and went on a few months later/with ring in hand, to officially propose to me!

So that is how the Fairy Tale Epic Adventure of the 'Reevesses' began..

Now, 1/2 of my life has been spent growing up with Raymond..and here we are...21 years plus into a life full of some of the most dramatic seasons I can imagine...we have 6 children -  4 here, 2 in heaven..and prayerfully 'more' :) (biologically would be welcomed but adoption is our next goal..)

The following is a random list of very important facts, memories, lessons learned, & funny moments  that everyone should know about us.....:)....

•  We spent our first ten years of marriage enjoying the Air Force life..lived in AZ for like 6 years..had an AMAZING church and Pastor (Pastor Adams) as we tried to navigate what it looked like to actually surrender your life to God and be on the narrow road with Him! This is when we first began to realize MINISTRY was wayyy more a part of our life than just living the 'American Dream'....we moved to Valdosta GA for the last few years of Air Force life. LOVE that town, we actually lived on a plantation in the former slave house! Neatest house I've ever lived in..my front yard was a Pecan Grove..BEAUTIFUL! Ray surrendered to Full time ministry there.
• We spent the next ten years 'doing' full time ministry including Student (teen) ministry, Preschool ministry, Ray preaching, Mission trips, Summer Camps (Go Student Life) and 'planting' our own church while simultaneously trying to start a coffee shop ministry :) *Don't try that one!
• We are now on career/calling number 3..covert missionaries..and now that I've told you, well, I have to kill you..We truly believe God has planted a seed in our heart to grow His kingdom here in our home town (tho' we'd rather be in Honduras or the Czech Republic etc). Ray is on a crazy mission field as a Police Officer. I'm sorry, does anyone else find it as ridiculously insane as I do that my husband is now a COP? It is quite the insane lil world out there and my husband is equipped with 3 guns at all times and another small arsenal of weapons...BUT I mostly see him as a soldier, armed with LOVE and mercy for a very dark world! We are also involved with 2nd Mile Ministries---choosing to break the chains of a very racial/prejudice family--and help heal our city with the Gospel and Redemption through action!

• Now for the randomness..Ray is clumsy as all get out, I LAUGH really hard every time he falls .. and he is also very over dramatic when he falls, so it is even funnier!
• Ray has had every hair style known to man..no joke..Britney Warner has a wedding album to prove it :)...boy did he ever work the highlights, so funny now to even think about! I am a FAN of the shaved head, 'facial hair abundant' Ray..yum!
• My first coping mechanism during fighting was to run away..I would literally get on my bike or walk away from base housing when I was mad/upset, sometimes I would hide on the back porch for hours...I was a very mature 19 year old!
• We've gotten fat together :) or skinny..right now workin on the 'Let's get in shape together' plan!
• Ray has always wanted to have good communication, has fought for it...except when he would punch things (not me) but that was forever ago, like last week...just kidding... 
• Oh, before we were married Ray was so scary, he would chase down car loads of men if they even looked at him wrong..I would hide in the floor board...one day a middle aged man tailgated him over the Matthew's Bridge. The 'old man' pointed for Ray to pull over at the bottom. Ray promptly pulled over,walked up to the man, punched him in the face, got back in the car and came to nonchalantly tell me about it. 
• Ray and I have been to more concerts than I can count together--music is a big part of our life--to show the progression of our marriage one can watch the time-line of music.  The Cure, The Cure, scary occult groups, cheesy Christian church concerts, Newsboys, Five Iron Frenzy, Switchfoot, Third day like 17 times, all the ska bands, pretty much every christian concert held for like 5 years, even working at Christian Festivals by the time it was all said and done, Duran Duran (yes a few years ago, not 20), Switchfoot again at the Free bird cafe....and lastly, worship concerts...we evolve w/music, as our hearts w/God evolve..(this doesn't mean that we don't listen to any secular music, Ray still listens to some bands whose names I can not even pronounce, but none of them evil :) ---------At one Third Day concert the lead singer looked at Ray in the crowd and pointed back at himself as if to say "Do we not freakishly the same or what?"..at this time Ray had the same-ish style hair/glasses/clothes and most importantly facial hair as Mac Powell..it was creepy and yet fun to have the man I loved look like the lead singer of my favorite band ( a little bit high school huh? ahhhh well) The band guitarist called Ray  forward and gave him his leather snake skin hat in exchange for Ray's straw cowboy hat ..good times!
• We went on a family cruise one time..EVERYONE thinks Levi was conceived on it..the truth is we were SICK as DOGS and we touched each other only to steady each other on board!
• We love odd humor, we laugh hard together, we like to mock people & each other, not really... and he mostly laughs at me when I laugh so hard I cry or lose my breath.
• He and Kaitlyn like to gang up on me..most recently when trying to pick out a movie, they tried letting me choose..Then when they saw me scanning titles.."She'll pick out some Documentary on the Holocaust and spend the whole movie crying about how she couldn't save all the people..." Ha ha, funny!  (and me & Kaitlyn don't ever gang up on him ;)
• Ray and I are dorks (duh). We like to coordinate colors in our clothes when we can! We were old creepy couple status before we even got old!
• Ray likes us to watch movies together late at night, the running joke is that it's a fail-proof way to make sure I fall asleep..usually before the opening scene..ha!
• Ray surprised me in a BIG way on a mission trip to the Czech republic--he rented out the garden of a beautiful castle and had everything in a suit case to decorate/celebrate our anniversary..renewing our vows at the foot of a castle with all the adult and youth we had brought on the trip watching, Trent Polk our BFF officiating! (He had even brought me a dress and shoes and everything!) One thing that Ray Reeves is is a true romantic!! Like hard core..sappiest sweetest man ever (well, except when he's beating people up & I'm hiding in floor boards..ha ha)
• Ray still buys me flowers, Ray still lets me have 'Mom's nights out', Ray still lets me go away to conferences...he may remind me twenty three times he let me do it and be so proud he took care of everything while I was gone BUT the big deal is..he looks out for my needs and desires..
•  Ray has stood by me/helped decide with me our ever so controversial stances..natural childbirth (wow, what a concept), even when I was 21 and we had NO clue what we were doing & I showed up at the hospital being told by a nurse 'oh honey you're not in labor, nobody just walks in like you are in real labor' and proceeded to check me to find I was not only in labor I was 8 cm!! ( In your face medical establishment, uhhhh he also puts up with me STILL being bratty and obnoxious!).....and then to 'at home water births', extended breastfeeding, no immunizations, homeschooling, vegetarians, not putting our kids in the church nursery/preschool/youth group etc, not doing dating for our kids but courting, allowing God to open/close our womb, wanting to adopt, not celebrating halloween, wanting to live debt free in as little space as needed and so on..all things I think are pretty normal but have gotten us coined as Freaks??? What? Interesting... 
• We have had loads o' fun with the different seasons like..starting out our marriage with my  mother in law hating me ( we love each other now..it's possible ladies), Ray getting diagnosed w/two Auto immune diseases & getting the boot from the Air force, our House Fire, losing jobs/being fired/being jobless, having Levi be seriously sick and hospitalized several times----once w/whooping cough which led to secret meetings from other parents who didn't want our 'immunization free' kid near theirs-now that is fun!, having to live with our friends---not once or twice but multiple times, Having a house that is killing us and everyone wondering 'Why can't you guys stay well?'--well because we enjoy watching our kids die before our very eyes and we enjoy missing everything outside these four walls/being stuck inside ALL the time and we especially like hearing those comments like that after we've sat up all night watching a kid like a hawk  who may go into anaphylactic shock, it 's NOT because we didn't know our TOXIC house was killing us!!! Not to mention moving in/out ten times this year alone , Having Ray literally lose his mind and leave ALL that mattered to him--like God and us and not to mention losing our church, our friends, our home, our city and more as a consequence.., Me having not only Postpartum depression but the wackiest hormones ever--why my husband has not murdered me--I do not know! :) , and the house full of Aspergers kids, or as Levi has dubbed it 'Jack-ass pergers'--Oh the moments this has brought!!!, most recently losing two babies in less than one year...nothing funny to say about that....

I could go on and on..I was really just being sarcastic and silly in the last bullet about the Seasons, we really have been through some very trying times..we've lived through several catastrophic things...we've moved a lot, changed church homes several times, made friends/lost friends/made up with friends...we've made our family mad, we've made each other mad :) We've pleased some people and made some people proud w/our 20 plus years, we've disappointed a lot of people, mostly our kids, and mostly each other...

Here is where I get serious for just a few....when I first got married Ray and I had a PLAN 'A' only deal...we had both come from broken homes and would not repeat that..who knew I'd be served with divorce papers over a decade later?....what I mostly want to say on my 21st Anniversary is that we serve a REDEEMING RESURRECTING God...I wouldn't want to go through what I have sometimes BUT I know that what we have lived out is what makes our journey 'ours' and our love story an Epic Tale of Adventure..just like my beginning quote says..it's great to marry the one you love BUT to CHOOSE to stay together and LOVE the one you married..no matter what..now that is valuable..Ray and I take no credit for the fact that we are still married, we have hated each other as deeply as we have loved one another, we have disappointed each other as much as we have fulfilled each others needs/desires, we have trampled on each others feelings/rights/hearts as much as we have regarded them as more important than our own, we have had seasons..we have had trials, we have had bliss, we have had fun, we have had pain-deep pain, we have had happiness-abundantly, we have laughed together and at each other, we have cried together and at the hands of each other....I have grown up with Ray, when all is said and done he is the man who has walked hand in hand with me for over half my life, navigating with me what it means to live a life of purpose and Hope, he has Shepherded me, cherished me, and taught me...he is one of the BEST people I have ever known, the world is better because he is here, my world is richer, deeper, more colorful because he is my husband--- he challenges me as no other. I LOVE the subtitle to the book 'Sacred Marriage', 'What if marriage isn't to make you happy but to make you holy?'.....MORE than anything else Ray and I have been each other's main tool of refinement as we bring out the best and worst in each other...to stick by someone when life gets hard, too hard, or when you no longer 'feel' like you first did, or you just wanna quit...CHOOSING to love the one you're with..........that is true love, that is real abiding love, God has given that love to us when we were incapable of giving it...He has restored our marriage many times over..he has renewed our passion many times...He has let us 'see' our spouse as HE sees them. Worthy of love, time, attention, affection, worthy of the laying down of one's life.... we give Him the glory for holding us together..we have done a lot of hard work and we work on our marriage all the time...but ultimately, HE has been the third chord in our 'chord of three' and it is His Spirit in us that causes us to LOVE as He desires....We believe strongly that marriage in the world is under attack, we long to live out God's Redemptive plan and to show/help other's along the way...there are many things in life  worthy of fighting for...LOVE is one of the greatest! 

Happy Anniversary Judson, You're still the one!! Forgive me for when I fail you and am not the Helpmate you need....Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be.....

 (Our Song)
 Fly farther/Jars of Clay

He picked her up some flowers
On a sunday afternoon
They sat out on the

porch swing
Underneath the cresent moon
A life time seemed to pass
Staring at the skies
And on the swing he gave her the ring
There were tears in her eyes

He said I pray I'm not alone
In my dreams about forever
That you and I could become one
And always be together

We'd grow old and wise
Through all the days
For worse or for better
And now be true inside of you
Even now more than ever

And my lifetime flies but we'll fly farther
Into the night where the eyes of loneliness can never bother
All our dreams of together uneclipsed by never never
And my time flies it's in your eyes, but we'll fly farther

Fifty years have ridden off into the sunset
And the tears that we have cried have overflown
Here we are counting scars, wounds of life's ending upset
You're with me and I with you and I will never forget

And my time flies but we'll fly farther
Into the night where the eyes of loneliness will never bother
All our dreams of together uneclipsed by never never
And my time flies it's in your eyes, but we'll fly farther

He picked her up some flowers
On a sunday acfternoon
He rode the Greyhound bus past the house they used to swoon
He knelt beside the grave, hung his head, a teardrop fell
And on the stone epitaph show the words he knew so well...

And my time flies but we'll fly farther
Into the night where the eyes of loneliness will never bother
All our dreams of together, uneclipsed by never never
And my time flies, I see it in your eyes, but we'll fly farther

We'll fly farther
We'll fly farther