Here we go again..literally!

So..as of last night we have decided to take yet another 'break' from this lovely town-home. Here is the sorta kinda why in the world we are doing this AGAIN story....

For those who don't know, don't understand, and prayerfully haven't experienced it yet...your home can kill ya! And if it doesn't kill you, at the very least it can make you miserable. (See prior posts for more info on what has happened to us) We know that something in this home was/might still be/may always be making us sick. We moved out last fall with just the clothes on our backs. By the time we walked away Levi was coughing and puking nightly. We all coughed until we fell asleep exhausted. Joint pains. Miscarriages. Rashes..and so on.  THIS is WHAT your HOME can do to you...fun stuff! Do a quick google search on Sick House Syndrome, Sick Building Syndrome, Mold Toxicity, Formaldehyde Poisoning and so on...creepy, crazy, scary stuff!

At the beginning of this year we moved home..after LOTS of work/remediation/discarding items etc etc. We had high hopes that this was the right thing to do... again, more on that in my older post. And so...we began to get sick again. We were advised to shut down the A/C system. Not such a big deal a few weeks ago, now we are sitting here with the thermostat hovering around 84-87 and high humidity. Grrrrrrr, I am not fan of sweating all the time, even if I am not actually even doing anything other than breathing. (said in my best Junie B Jones voice) And not sure if there is a link or not but the hotter it gets the worse my kiddos sleep. I am also not a fan of sleep deprivation ;)

So now the Insurance company is back involved, we've had several more inspections in the last two weeks and just recently been advised to move out until the situation is resolved. Sounds simple, but in theory IF we are now hyper sensitive to Mold and many chemicals... 'just moving out' isn't so easy. We will have to stay somewhere that does not have water issues or chemical issues and so on.... Right now I get sick in the shampoo aisle or in stores with lots of fluorescent lights and so on. And financially it's not so easy. (Insurance and builder refuse to help until it is proven that they are at fault) We are a one income family, still digging our way out of a failed ministry (coffee shop) from almost 5 years ago, and trying to walk out our faith by allowing Him to control His money. (He being God) ...So, just up and leaving is a huge decision..we've wrestled with it for a while and only after the Lord connected us with our newest friends (Mold Warriors :) have we really felt good about yet again walking away. We have enough money (which was earmarked for other items, sorry about that) to last about two weeks out of the house (and that is even with help from my mom). We feel strongly about the things that money was supposed to pay for BUT we feel even stronger that if staying here is adding more of a toxic load to our kids' bodies...no amount of budgeting/money is worth that.

I feel like a lot of the drama with this home has been a true test of WHERE our hearts are. It's really made us question a lot. We are seeing how easily it is to be attached to your stuff and not the 'stuff maker' :) It is easy to get caught back up in the drama of the sick house and forget the lil wee ones who are sitting in front of you while you have YET another discussion on what to do, or have to make just one more phone call about 'it' while they wait...Grrrrrrr! How easily distracted we are from the "Real Thing". So...in a way this new advice to leave is a blessing in disguise. We will be forced for the next two weeks to just leave this house and it's drama behind!

I am going to finish packing in the morning. Shove as many beach toys and art supplies as I can into the van. Go load up on bulk fruits n veggies at Sam's. Come grab my sleepy husband (it's his first day off tomorrow and he is on the night shift). Swing by Middleburg to grab my mom. And head outa town...


As I sit here and type and my home is finally cooling off..thank you fans and night time and God..I am reminded again how fortunate I am. There are many today, maybe in Japan.. in other places...that can not escape the Toxic world they are in or find comfort from the heat. Even on my worst day as a Mold Victim I am truly not so bad off am I? Though I have had many meltdowns this week as my kid's health and behavior continues to decline and I am overwhelmed with their care, I am still blessed to have so many tools (books, family & friends, Internet, inspectors..) at my fingertips. And I have a God who loves and adores my family. He KNOWS the way we should take and as He refines us we will hopefully shine like gold for Him. And in the shattered dreams we live out we will hopefully long more and more for a HOME that does not hurt us. Wheww. Amen and Amen. One day I will look at this and see clearly why we had to walk it out..until then I trust that my Hope Giver has a plan. And nothing, no amount of mold or formaldehyde or sickness can stop us from spreading His hope to the least of these....

These lyrics spoke to my heart this week:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty

hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Thank you Jesus!!! Would covet your prayers for clarity...we need to know what we are to do when these two weeks are up....super grateful that you would remember us to the Father....because of mercy-----me.